Hello Friends :)
I'm Kirby and I want to thank you all for joining me here on The Preppy Book Princess for both the hardest and most personal blog post I've ever personally written or shared.
The last couple of weeks have been a huge struggle personally for me. I didn't really have the motivation to do much of anything, and I've consistently been leaning on my mom, sister and husband for prayer and spiritual motivation.
It was extremely difficult and embarrassing for me to be going through such an attack on my faith, and at first I was tempted not to reach out to anyone to ask for help. However, I know that is one way the enemy tries to encroach us believers in his lies. By telling us that what we're going through is personal; that no one else would understand or want to listen. By telling us that everyone else is busy and we have no business taking up their time for our petty little problems. Even by trying to tell us that God wouldn't want to hear about our problems; that we need to try and suffer through it on our own.
I'm going to be honest and share that I didn't want to write this blog post. I didn't want to broadcast my insecurities or the fact that I'm going through a spiritual warfare battle with my readers, but God is so amazing and completely changed my thinking. He was able to show me through His amazing word and the strong prayer warriors He sent my way that maybe by sharing a bit of my story and the scriptures that helped me through it, that just maybe it'll reach some of you who have ever gone through the same thing.
I've been laid off my job since the end of March, and I'm blessed that it hasn't been a huge financial burden for us, as my hubby has always been our primary breadwinner. For the first couple of months of the pandemic, I focused mainly on reading, cooking, cleaning, watching TV etc etc. While I was doing daily devotionals, I wasn't really digging into God's word as much as I should have been with how much free time I had on my hands. That all changed a couple of months ago when I began rigorously diving into God's word. I started working on numerous devotionals every single day, I started reading Christian non fiction books, I started watching more sermons and etc on Youtube, I filled my house with praise and worship music, I worked on scripture memorization daily and was so impressed with how many verses I can now quote off by heart. I devoted time each day to pray for my husband, my family, my friends, my life, my desire for God to use me to shine a light for Jesus, and in fact, it was after one of these prayer sessions that God spoke to my heart about starting this Scripture of the Week series.
Now there's one thing that Satan hates, and that's when any individual grows closer to God. He doesn't want to see us grow a relationship with our Heavenly Father and as our faith grows so does his spitefulness. All of a sudden out of nowhere I found myself thinking horrible things about myself. I found thoughts going into my head about how my faith wasn't strong enough to battle his temptations, about how everyone I loved would turn on me when the real truth about me was revealed, about how I my as well just give up now because I wasn't strong enough to battle what he was going to throw my way.
And guys, I started panicking. I turned to the scriptures to throw back at him, and it worked, but it was an extremely challenging experience and I found myself falling deeper and deeper into a depression that was hard to get back out of. I suffer from both anxiety and asthma, and as the thoughts he threw my way got worse and worse, my anxiety sky rocketed which caused numerous asthma attacks and many times I had to call either my husband or my mom and sister for help as I couldn't get my lungs to function properly. As I continued to combat the thoughts, the anxiety, the asthma, and the depression, I started having trouble being able to eat. Everything made me sick, and I started losing the will to even try and want to consume anything. I was dropping weight, every time I tried to eat I'd end up sick, and I spent many hours in tears and downright panic and fear.
However, I refused to give up or give in to the enemy's lies. I made the choice to reach out to my mom and sister and to share everything I was going through with my husband. My mom and sister are both amazing and just like I was there for them with prayer and a listening ear when they needed it, they did the same for me. Anytime that I was at home by myself for hours and hours when my hubby was working, they invited me over and surrounded me in scripture and prayer and reminders that we serve an Awesome God and the enemy cowers in fear whenever we speak His Holy name.
While I'd love to state right here that I was such a strong Christian that I shoved the enemy away and my life went right back to how it was, I can't because that's not what happened. It was a battle every single day guys, and even as I sit typing this I know I have to stay ready and aware because he's still trying to drag me down. However, I can rest in the truths that are stated boldly in the scriptures and be extremely grateful that I have a strong family of believers willing to stand with me on this way, and pray the enemy back to where he belongs.
It's not an easy process, and he will try and drag you down in whatever way he can. I felt throughout the entire process that there must be something wrong with me to be going through something like this, and that it must mean my faith wasn't as strong as it should be. However, my mom and sister were able to identify both of those thoughts as the lies they are, and to boldly proclaim to me that I am not alone, there is nothing wrong with me, I'm not the only one struggling, and it's the opposite of my faith being weak-Satan attacks when he has something to worry about.
Imagine that! Little old me has the dark enemy cowering in his corner in fear! That's how scared he is of anyone growing closer to our Lord and Savior, and why he chooses to attack anyone he sees trying to grow their relationship closer to God.
Whatever you do my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, don't ever let him win! Find the strength you need from the scriptures, in prayer, from surrounding yourself with other believers-do whatever it takes to back him back into that corner of fear. We are God's children, and he has already been defeated when Jesus overcame the world.
I can't promise that he's going to leave any of you alone, but I can promise that when you call upon the name of Jesus to stand beside you....YOU WILL WIN!!!
Satan knows he has no power over God, he's powerless in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and never stop reminding yourself of this fact.
Never by into the lie that you are alone in your suffering. Never let him stop you from reaching out to others with your story and your request for help. I can guarantee that if I hadn't reached out for the prayer and support I needed, this entire battle would have been even more challenging and scary, and that's one way he tries to keep us knocked down.
I'm blessed to always have people I can reach out to for prayer as I'm going through a time like this, but if you don't, know that you can reach out to me in the comments of this post or through my email listed in my book review policy page, and I am always willing to send prayers of strength to all my brothers and sisters in Christ.
I'm also going to take the time now to share a few scriptures that are helping me through this trying time.
"The Lord will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction, but flee from you in seven."
Deuteronomy 28:7
"The Light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it."
John 1:5
"Submit yourselves then to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you."
James 4:7
"The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you."
Romans 16:20
I want to leave you with one last thing to think about. All of these struggles are frustrating and often have us questioning why they had to happen. Why did they have to happen to us? However, sometimes our greatest strength emerges from these struggles. We didn't think we could get through it, but we did because God is amazing and cares about all of His children, and if we can fight the good fight, we will emerge stronger in our faith and more motivated than ever to follow the plan He has set out for our lives.
I will be praying that this message reaches whoever it was meant to, and that it will provide you with some of the encouragement you needed to face your own battles today.
I pray these verses will help you as much as they've helped me.
Happy Thursday and God Bless :) Never forget how much our Heavenly Father loves you and how He is always there right beside you fighting for you and with you against all of the enemy's lies.
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